No, you are not weak minded for not being able to tolerate BS

[sugartalking]

 Today I want to talk about a popular opinion people hold -- that if you can't separate the fandom from your special interest, you are "weak minded". 

This is untrue, for many reasons. And just plain wrong.

I've noticed that many people online, especially those on Twitter, like to lie. Not only to themselves, but to everyone else, including young teenagers and kids. And they think putting "Minors DNI" on their twitter page that's full of BS but worded like "If you disagree with me, you are a bigot!" is gonna stop minors from believing what they say.  

But why do they lie? Because they are miserable in their real waking lives, and them feeling powerful online and building an army of defenders (clueless minors or people younger than them who are influenced by them) is the only thing that they've got going for them.

I will probably repeat this in my future posts if I rant about online fandom people again, because it's.. true. From what I've observed, and I also used to be very close with one of those people who are like that, and still are, still feeling proud of their pathetic online presence today.

Anyway, so some of those people like sharing this sentiment. That if you can't stand a specific fandom and you end up losing interest in the thing that the fandom was made for, you are weak minded.

They are lying.

The truth is actually the opposite. If you don't want to be associated with a certain fandom or a certain thing after discovering that there's real despicable people there, that means you are still normal and still have morals.

No, I'm not trying to sound morally superior. I am saying this like how you would say "the sky is blue". It's the truth.

First of all, it is natural for humans to associate a thing, a piece of media, and the community tied to them (fandom). Sure, you could ignore the community if what you're interested in is a private, solo hobby, like reading, doing makeup, watching movies/series, fishing, etc. But you've most likely thought of seeking community related to those hobbies too at some point. Right? Right. Because humans are wired to want to find community. To find people who like the same things they like. Maybe you've already tried looking for users on Dreamwidth here who share the same interests as you, because you want to subscribe or feel connected to someone. Right. Now think of.. media. An anime you got into and liked. Surely, there had to have been a few anime you got into because you wanted to be able to talk about it with others, right?

Yeah. So, you admit that fandom can be tied to an interest. People can get interested in something because they want to be a part of the fandom.  And it is natural for people to think that way. So hinting that it's unnatural or weak minded for people to think this way is fictitious.

Second, when there is (naturally) a connection made between an interest and its fandom in someone's mind, it is obviously natural for the person to feel conflicted when they love the interest, but they strongly dislike the fandom for it. Especially if they didn't just find out there were some annoying but harmless people in the fandom, but that the people at the top of the fandom's hierarchy are genuinely horrible people. Like they are pedophiles or they support pedophiles. Yes, real life ones.  And yeah, whether you are willing to admit it or not, there is always a hierarchy in a fandom. Any fandom. And, in a way, both your interests and fandoms do reflect on who you are. Not 1:1, obviously there are annoying people everywhere. But if you are aware of a fandom's hierarchy, and you know there are disgusting people at the top, and you don't agree with their values, why should you stay?

Because you don't want to seem weak minded like some people like to say that you would be if you left the fandom? Get real. Stand up. Why should you subject yourself to having to lick those people's feet? People you hate? Online, out of all places? Where you can just.. leave and cut all ties?

It's not like you're at a workplace environment at your job where you're sort of forced to deal with all kinds of people. Online, you can freely pick and choose what communities you want in and which ones you want out. 

And it's okay if you lose interest in the thing you were interested in, as that thing can feel tied to the horrible fandom people now, and that's fine. There was a connection made between the thing and the fandom. You are allowed to feel disgusted at one thing and end up not wanting to be associated with both the thing and the fandom. 

And you shouldn't force yourself to be mechanical, automatically try to separate the thing and its fandom. Your brain is wired to do the opposite naturally, because humans naturally want community. And you want to protect your values and morals. So why fight it? Leave when you can.

It's actually really weird that people who share this opinion also sometimes say stuff like "If you don't like someone, just block them". Is leaving a fandom where most people in it support the horrible people at the top of its hierarchy technically not a mass blocking? But they want to feel powerful on the internet, of course. So they try to word it like it's your fault for being weak minded for not wanting to put up with the shit they subject themselves to.

Lastly, when they ask "Why are you letting some random people online ruin that thing for you?"

That question doesn't even make sense. Why am I affected by a thing that is strongly associated with a group of people who heavily offend me?

The underlying question is actually this: Why do you think I should stay interested in something and the community attached to it when people in that community's disagreeable to me?

The answer would be: Because I don't want to be associated with the thing or the community anymore. Or I just don't want to anymore.

Is that a crime? Why does that bother you? I'm not implying that you yourself are disagreeable. Why do you want to force me to stay in places I don't want to be?

Right. so this proves choosing to leave a place, a community, a thing, when you know they don't align with your values or morals anymore is actually a sign of strength, not being "weak minded". It shows that you are willing to walk away from people when they step on your morals. And toes, by extension. Being able to confidently walk away from people who are disgusting but are connected to you in real life takes a lot of courage. So if you are able to walk away from disgusting people online, that's already a good sign you can stand up for yourself online, atleast, and maybe you could also do the same with people in real life in the future. 

This also means the people who are spreading this opinion are actually the weak minded ones. They feel like they must stay interested in things and fandoms that have horrible people in them, because they still want to feel like they have a fighting chance of possibly successfully climbing up the fandoms' hierarchies and be at the top with or above them.

Very pathetic and a weak attempt of projection, if you ask me. But unfortunately, it's so easy for tweets to get many likes nowadays, and these people will stop at nothing to get online validation, so most people just go along with their opinions and spread them around even further until normal people are the ones being ostracized.

"Maybe you aren't made for fandoms." "You shouldn't be in fandoms." You're right. Fandoms have never been normal. But don't project blatantly untrue lies onto innocuous people and call them weak minded or a bigot if they disagree. 

Anyways, my point is, if you, an online stranger, is reading this and has ever felt.. shameful to walk away from an interest or a fandom or both, or shameful because you can't separate an interest and its fandom, don't be.  That's actually a sign of strength, not weakness.
-Daphne 𖹭