Daphne's Thoughts and Insights

I've come to realize that people online who strongly prefer and romanticize forbidden "subtext" gay or lesbian stories and pay no mind to happy explicit gay / lesbian representation are ... well, don't actually care about representation, they just care about fetishizing oppression. I'd elaborate but I'm kinda tired right now so..

Not sure if the friend will ever find this but if you look at the time we chatted about this and it lines up, yeah it's probably me. Hii

So, today was a very nice day for me. I found the account I used to write fanfiction on (Not on here, but a different platform) and god was it nostalgic to look back at how I wanted to be a writer and had passion for it. 

I remember having very fond feelings about writing them, and I still feel fond after re-readiing the stuff I wrote years ago today. If you're curious, I used to write for mostly straight pairings and characters. Tho I did try writing for a gay mlm pairing like a few times but honestly despite that, I was, and still am, incapable of being passionate for an mlm ship. No, I'm not homophobic. It's just. If you asked me to gush for them or be a dedicated for them, I'd fail. Trust me, I've tried. I've tried watching gay series and all and nothing gets me feeling the same passion I naturally feel for lesbian and straight pairings (that have depth and are interesting first of all of course). It's something about seeing a female character be loved by another character that she also loves back so, so much. I really like seeing that. 

I think I should start writing fanfiction again. Should I? I should..

P.S. Thank you so much to that friend who complimented my younger self's writing <3 That lifted up my mood so, so much today <3

I wanted to write a long reflection about this year but basically:

If I get disproportionately angry about #That specific topic it's because of grief about a specific person who used to be in my life. I have to remind myself that's the root cause of pretty much all my anger this year and that's okay. It's normal for betrayal trauma to take a while to exit your life. I can breathe.

But 2026 is where I'm closing that chapter, atleast deal with things differently, and live for myself, build a new life for myself, and stop overexplaining myself.

I can do anything and everything I want.

 Today I want to talk about a popular opinion people hold -- that if you can't separate the fandom from your special interest, you are "weak minded". 

This is untrue, for many reasons. And just plain wrong.

I've noticed that many people online, especially those on Twitter, like to lie. Not only to themselves, but to everyone else, including young teenagers and kids. And they think putting "Minors DNI" on their twitter page that's full of BS but worded like "If you disagree with me, you are a bigot!" is gonna stop minors from believing what they say.  

But why do they lie? Because they are miserable in their real waking lives, and them feeling powerful online and building an army of defenders (clueless minors or people younger than them who are influenced by them) is the only thing that they've got going for them.

I will probably repeat this in my future posts if I rant about online fandom people again, because it's.. true. From what I've observed, and I also used to be very close with one of those people who are like that, and still are, still feeling proud of their pathetic online presence today.

Anyway, so some of those people like sharing this sentiment. That if you can't stand a specific fandom and you end up losing interest in the thing that the fandom was made for, you are weak minded.

They are lying.

Just do the damn thing, goddammit. The more you procrastinate, the longer you'll feel miserable. Don't prolong your misery like that. Just do the task and rip the bandaid off. It doesn't matter if you're worried about others not complying, Just. Do. It.

Quit ruminating about the thing and just do the actual thing.

That one quote about how you can start first and make it perfect later? Yeah that sounds cliche but it's actually true. And it doesn't matter if you've had many unfinished projects before, if you gradually put in the effort, you CAN finish whatever you want to finish.

"Motivation", "Thinking about doing something" can only help you so much. What matters the most is actually your ACTION and what you actually DO.

So do it, otherwise you're just making excuses for yourself. Whether out of genuine fear or laziness it doesn't matter. You need to remember you are the driver in the driver's seat here. So drive.

And if you're surrounded by incompetent idiots..(I am right now at school..) you'll still have to do it. Force their hand, even if you don't want to. You have to do hard things if they're absolutely necessary. 

Stop ruminating inside your head and start DOING things.